How to save a life
Suicide is the leading cause of death for Australians between the ages of 15 and 44 - but it’s also one of the most preventable. So, while this topic is heavy, and as humans we usually try to avoid uncomfortable topics, it’s time to put suicide on the table.
If you ever suspect someone you know may be at risk of suicide, it’s important that you take action. As an Accredited Mental Health First Aid Instructor and counsellor, I’m going to tell you what you need to do to save a life.
Ask directly
This may go against everything you’ve been told your whole life, but it’s actually really important that we ask directly about suicidal thinking. And before you ask… no, you’re not going to put the idea of suicide in their head OR make them more likely to act on already existing thoughts! There is absolutely no research to back those two myths. What the research shows us is quite the opposite - asking directly about suicidal thoughts increases help-seeking. Bingo - that’s what we want!
My advice is to keep it simple, direct, and unambiguous: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?”, or “Are you thinking of ending your life?”
Now, I know the thought of doing this might sound super scary, which is why I recommend you attend a Mental Health First Aid training to gain more confidence in asking this question!
Ask about plans
Ask them if they have a specific plan for suicide - when, where, how etc. This can help you assess the urgency of the risk. So, for example, if they have a plan and have access to the means to end their life, we’d assess that’s slightly more urgent than someone without any plan.
Just an FYI, the lack of a plan doesn’t necessarily guarantee safety. We need to take all talk of suicide seriously, plan or no plan.
Don’t leave the person alone
This kind of feels like a no-brainer but I’m going to say it anyway. You need to stay with the person, or find someone who can. No one who has admitted to having thoughts of suicide should be left alone - they need your support!
Validate + empathise with them
Try not to invalidate what they’re going through. Unless you yourself have been suicidal, you can never really understand what that person is going through. Even if you don’t understand, you can still avoid being judgemental, harsh, or stigmatising. Saying things like “That sounds really tough, I’m so sorry you feel that way”, or “I care about you and want to help”, can go such a long way!
Call the professionals
Would you try and help someone through a heart attack if you didn’t have the adequate training or skill set? Heck no! So please don’t feel like you need to sort out suicide on your own. There are great professionals that specialise in this area.
Here in Australia, our main go to’s are:
Lifeline - 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467
NSW Mental Health Line - 1800 011 511
Emergency services - 000
If you’re tuning in from outside Australia and you’re not sure about what emergency services are around in your country, get in touch with me and I can help you navigate that!
Connect them with supports
It really takes a village to not only prevent, but also intervene and support someone who is suicidal. Find out who or what has supported the person in the past - who feels safe for them and who can you link them up with for a stronger support network? Don’t make assumptions that their parents/family/partner are the most appropriate support, because unfortunately that just might not be the case.
Safety planning
Boy oh boy I cannot stress enough the importance of safety planning!! I actually wrote a blog about it that I think you should check out.
Bottom line is that safety planning can save someone’s life, and everyday people can feel empowered to develop a safety plan with someone.
Whilst I’ve put some tips here in this blog, if you really want to feel equipped to implement suicide first aid, I highly recommend you do a Mental Health First Aid course, or Conversations about Suicide course.
If you have been impacted on or bereaved by suicide, you can reach out to the following organisations for support: