Nothing changes if nothing changes
Lately, I feel like change has been happening all around me. Being in my mid-twenties now, it seems like everyone around me is getting engaged or married (I myself recently got engaged!), and some of my friends have either had their first baby, or are on their way to having their first baby!
Professionally, I have met many people who had a complete shift in their career and life plan as a result of the pandemic. Personally, I’ve experienced a lot of change over the past year. In fact, I termed 2022 as the year of change! I graduated from university, I went full-time with my business, I started counselling clients, and moved in with the love of my life. Now, in 2023 there are new changes and challenges that I’m tackling.
Now I know what you’re thinking… these don’t sound like horrible changes at all! And yes, I COMPLETELY acknowledge that all of these things are incredibly amazing things to happen. I am extremely grateful, but all of these changes still brought a lot of doubt, anxiety, and stress.
Funnily enough, in the Butterfly Foundation presentation I do with Year 5 & 6 students, we talk about change from the perspective of puberty. We acknowledge the fact that puberty is a really big and important time of change, and that of course with that change in their body may come changes in how they feel about their body image and appearance. One of the things I always say is “Change is a really necessary part of life. If nothing changes, nothing changes!”. Even though this is just something embedded in the presentation that I say, it has recently really hit close to home how true this saying is.
Some people thrive off change, whereas others like the structure, routine, and predictability of things in their life staying the same. If the pandemic years taught us anything, it’s that change is inevitable. So while we can keep some things constant, there will always be things in our life that are bound to change.
So if you’re like me, (where although change can be exciting, it can bring with it a bit of stress, anxiety, and feelings of overwhelm), this blog is for you!
Here’s how I’ve been dealing with my recent change - and the great thing is that many of these strategies are backed by research, so no harm in giving them a go for yourself!
Talk it out
This could be with friends, family, people in your community etc or even connecting with professional supports. For me, therapy has been one of the most profound acts of self-care I have ever done. It's allowed me to understand my learned and automatic behaviours and unpack why they exist and how I can start changing them. It's given me a space to safely explore my insecurities and deepest fears and worries. It's made me realise I'm a lot more self-aware and stronger than I ever thought. If you’re yet to seek therapy in your life, I really hope you do consider giving it a go - even if it takes a few tries to find the right person.
Write it down
This is a great strategy, particularly if the change is bringing out insecurity and anxiety. When we write things down, we get them out of our head and onto something physical which can help us deal with it better. Particularly if you’re overthinking or have a thousand different thoughts running through your head all at once, writing them down on paper (or even typing) can make it feel less overwhelming.
Journal
Moving off the back of my last point, journaling can be great to break up the thoughts swirling inside your head. Some great journal prompts during a period of change include:
“What feelings are coming up for me about this change (ie am I scared, nervous, angry, overwhelmed etc),
“What excites me about this change?”
“What is positive about this change?”
“What elements of this change maybe aren’t so good?”
“What scares me about this change?”
“What am I hoping to achieve out of this change?”
“Who is safe to lean on for some extra support during this period of change?”
Take some time in your day to ground yourself
When a lot of change is happening, we can sometimes feel as though we’re living on autopilot and not inhabiting our own bodies. Grounding is a great way to bring us back into the present and focus on our immediate tangible surroundings, rather than our thoughts and feelings. Watch this video I made about a simple grounding technique to get you started.
Self-care
Keeping up self-care is going to be really important now. Understandably, some of the change occurring might mean that your usual self-care routine might not be possible, so finding alternative self-care practices is going to be particularly important.
Of course, if you need any more support during this period of change, my doors are open for counselling.